FUN

Fun does not go hadn in hand with codependency. It is difficult to have fun when we hate ourselves. It is difficult to enjoy life when there is no money for groceries becuase the alcoholic has drunk it all up. It is almost impossible to have fun when we are bottled up with repressed emotions, woried sick about someone, saturated with guilt and despair, rigidly controlling ourselves or someone else, or worried about what other people are thinking about us. However, most people aren't thinking about us; they're worried about themselves and what we think of them.

As codependents, we need to learn to play and enjoy ourselves. Arranging for and allowing ourselves to have fun is an important part of taking care of ourselves. It helps us saty healthy. It helps us work better. It balances life. We deserve to have fun. Fun is a normal part of being alive. Fun is taking time to celebrate being alive.

We can schedule fun into our routine. We can learn to recognize when we need to play and what kinds of things we enjoy doing. If we don't do this, we can make "learning to have fun" an immediate goal. Start doing things just for ourselves, just becuase we want to. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but after a while it'll feel better. It will become fun.

We can let ourselves enjoy life. If we want something and can afford it, buy it. If we want to do something that is legal and harmless, do it. When we're actually involved with doing something that is recreational,  don't find ways to feel bad. Let go and enjoy life. We can find things we enjoy doing, then let ourselves enjoy doing them. We cna learn to relax and enjoy the things we do daily, not just the  recreational activities. Martyrdom can interfere with our ability to feel good long after the alcoholic has stopped helping us feel miserable. Suffering can become habitual, but so can enjoying life and being good to ourselves. Try it.

The above was taken from a book called "Codependent No More" written by Melody Beattie