Speak your truth, and then be your truth.
Even though on the surface co dependency seems to be about the other person it isn’t. My co dependency was an addiction to relationships so that I could hide myself in them. I believed that if I met the needs of another that they would meet my needs and make me complete. Then I would do all kinds of things to ensure that they could not meet my needs (like not being in touch with my needs, admitting them, asking for them to be met) and I would build walls to protect me from that other person because I knew that eventually they would abandon me… I knew that because I would sabotage the relationship to ensure it or I would get so scared of the impending pain that I would abandon them sometimes by actually leaving other times by withdrawing into myself. Many of the partners I chose were people who were just as messed up as I was and could not be there for me emotionally.
How did I stop it?
Just like I stopped my drinking… I didn’t. I just don’t do it today. I watch for the behaviors, I work the steps on them (…and practice these principles in all my affairs.) I talk to others about them, I look for the things in me that are of value and then affirm them. I discover what I value in life and then live by my values. I try to become that child of God, happy joyous and free.
Recovery is an evolution of all of me.
Hobie

I was reading thru some blogs this am and came across this post you made in answer to someones blog entry. The one sentence there jumped right out at me as an AFFIRMATION. Thank you. I haven't been sure what I was doing lately..but what I was doing wasn't working - I was focusing on all that was wrong with me and trying with all I had to change it (and Praying for God to Change me)and was boring myself deeper into self-hate. Finally I just walked away..jumped into the love and beauty of nature and animals and that has sparked the joy in my life again..and the recognition of what I LOVE..and that has trickled down into what I LOVE about ME and the beauty of the world around me. I have found some joy. Staying in the moment, see what is around me - the beauty in the moment..my heart is opening again...My HP is healing me one day at a time..God's way..not mine LOL.. funny what happens when you let go...Thank you for the affirmation that what i needed to see was what is RIGHT and GOOD about me..I just could not see any of it there for the longest time..NOW , my HP is showing me again. Love ya Hobie..God's will not Mine lol