I was recently asked if I thought a Gratitude List was the answer to everything.  I admit, I get a little carried away with talking about gratitude, and gratitude lists, but I honestly think this oft-forgotten little task (usually assigned by a sponsor) keeps me sober.  How?

Being grateful reminds me that I did not achieve sobriety on my own -- I had the help of my Higher Power and AA.  It automatically creates a sense of humility.  It takes me out of myself. 

When I first came to AA, someone told me that every night I should say “Thank you for keeping me sober today” and every morning to say “Please help me to stay sober today”.  Then I was told to start a gratitude list – every night, I was told to write down 3 things I was grateful for that day, even if it was simply that I didn’t drink that day.  There were days that I wrote that three times!

Now, over 3 years later, when I awake in the morning, I know I have a choice either to be happy and grateful or to be self-pitying and miserable.  Just waking up is enough to be grateful for – when I was drinking, I kept hoping I wouldn’t wake up.  The fact that I’m waking up without a hangover is even better!  And knowing that I don’t have to worry about whether there’s enough vodka left to get rid of my shakes so I can go get more is icing on the cake!!

As I go through my day, if life starts “lifeing” (a favorite phrase of a member of my home group), I try to remember to be grateful to at least be facing these situations sober.  When I was drinking, I couldn’t deal with anything without a drink – which certainly never improved any situation I was in, nor did it help anyone else.

Yes, I have days on the pity pot, but they are few and far between these days.  As long as I maintain an attitude of gratitude, I can stay connected to my Higher Power and maintain this precious gift of sobriety.

When I got sober I was of the hopeless variety. A low bottom drunk completely beat up. I was little more than a thing in the corner. Alcoholism is a disease of losses and it had taken everything from me. Not just the outside stuff but also everything inside. I was robbed of my self-esteem, my self-worth, dignity, decency, honesty, integrity, pride. All the things that we have going for ourselves as humans was gone and I was clueless.

And when I finally got to recovery I heard slogans that scared the hell out of me. Things like “A grateful heart will never drink”, And “This is a program of hope.”

I had no hope nor did I have any gratitude. See, I could be grateful and express gratitude but I didn’t have the gratitude that exists and comes from the heart. I was dead on the inside for a long time, and I was behind my last line of defense. The wall I had built around me so you couldn’t hurt me any more.

Unfortunately my wall not only kept you out but it also kept me in. I identify when the literature talks about our “self constructed prisons.”

Fortunately people reached out and treated me with kindness, They planted seeds of hope. They simply said "believe that we believe", "Bring the body and the mind will follow. "

I hated the slogan that says “fake it till you make it,” but to be honest what I had was the "blind faith" that what you were telling me was the truth. This was the last house on the block for me and I had no place left to go. If this didn’t work I didn’t know what to do.

And I held on to that blind faith with a willingness to go to any lengths, “even when it wasn’t convenient.” It was the willingness to keep my past from becoming my future. And slowly over time the wall around me came down. Not quickly but one brick at a time. And as the wall came down, I began to rejoin the human race. And finally that blind faith became a real working faith.

I have gratitude today, I have the ability to trust, I know how to play. I know how to communicate with another human being and treat them with respect. I no longer feel “less than.” Recovery has replaced all the things that alcoholism took away. The inside job. I can look the world in the eye today. But it didn’t happen overnight. It took time and it also took a lot of work on my part. I learned early on that if I wanted the results I needed to do the legwork.

The best message I was told was this….”If you think you have a problem with booze come along with us, and we’ll show you what we do, to go one day with out one drink.”

Change is inevitable; its growth that’s optional.

Carol, I just wanted to say thank you for always sharing your ESH.

Hugs and love,

Kim

Great minds Carol great minds.

I love gratitude lists and everything that comes along with them.  There is growth, learning and a wealth of new experiences as long as I am grateful today.  Honestly theres times life just sucks and all those things out of my control today happen at once. The beauty of it all and a testamony to the fellowship of AA is I can remain happy, joyous and free through those moments as long as Im grateful and count my blessings today, which are many and growing on a regular basis.

Phil,

From what you wrote, the key part of your experience with a gratitude list was "no sponsor, no steps, going to a lot of meetings". That could explain the difficulty you had with it.

I fully agree that a gratitude list is not in the Big Book; however, there is also no mention of a sponsor in the first 164 pages.  The Third Step is advised to be taken with "an understanding person such as our wife, best friend or spiritual advisor" (the assumption being that a spiritual advisor is a member of the clergy).  The Fifth Step also makes no mention of a sponsor, suggesting only that we take this step with "someone who will understand, yet be unaffected".

And no, a gratitude list is not essential to one's recovery or working the steps, but it can be useful. My sponsor suggested the gratitude list.  It was incredibly helpful in keeping my thinking where it needed to be.  Instead of thinking about the negatives (I can't drink, I can't cope, I'm worthless), it taught me to focus on the positives that were going on in my life -- one day at a time, until I could begin to practice gratitude as an action.

Perhaps there is some benefit to adding "new ideas" to the program, without diluting the original message.

I don't recall  saying that a gratitude list is made public.  And, as your sponsor told you and my sponsor told me, acts of gratitude should be done anonymously.

The point is that gratitude as action usually only comes as a result of a spiritual awakening, when one becomes more interested in others than himself.  Until that spiritual awakening occurs, it helps to focus outside of one's self, and a gratitude list is helpful for that.

Though the actual program of AA has not changed, there are "accepted practices", such as sponsorship, which have been incorporated into the original program. Rigid adherence to the first 164 pages of the Big Book would preclude the sharing of experience, strength and hope from one alcoholic to another -- for example, if one alcoholic found a gratitude list helpful in early sobriety, he could not share that because it is not part of the first 164 pages.  There would be no other conference-approved books, such as the 12x12 and Daily Reflections.  We would not be sharing our individual experience, strength and hope, only that of Bill W. and early AAs.

"Our book is meant to be suggestive only..."

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

The BB doesn't tell me to write these things down, but I do becasue its something that works for me. In the beginning it was hard to be grateful and real easy to squirm around in that poopie diaper I had on.  Why?  Because I had kicked my own butt around the block enough times that negativity and all that comes with it was comfortable.  Putting into black and white made it harder for my forgeter to kick in and me to slid backwards in early sobriety.  When someone shared their ESH and told me "when its hard to concentrate on the positive write it down" a whole new way and perspective of thinking opened up for me.  One I'm sure would have been a lot longer in coming.

I do gratitude lists still today.   Is this something I need for you to see.  No, I need not your approval but my own acceptance of who and what I am today.  Writing these things down is nothing more than part of my  routine.  A way of life and a choice I make for myself, like praying and living the steps on a daily basis.  

Not every tool in my arsenal came straight from the BB and the first 164 pages.  I'm not sure I would have the sobriety I do today without them and as long as I remain openminded and teachable I will get new tools on a regular bases.   And I for one will share what works for me with those who are willing and pray that they can have the same happy joyous and free life that I have today thorugh The gifts of a HP and the fellowship of AA.   

I myself do not find doing something for another person anonymously an act of gratitude. It is an act of kindness, that I generaly try to keep to myself and my God. For me, gratitude is all the things I am grateful for, to my God and the program of AA. The only action required here is for me to realize it. I also know there are a lot of things that are usefull to a recovering alcoholic, that are not neccesarily in the Big Book. They are accepted practices and used by many people to suppliment the recovery process as laid out in "Alcoholics Anonymous".

Phil,

The original 1938 multilith manuscript of the Big Book may be seen here:

www.barefootsworld.net/aaorigmanuscript.html

Changes to the first 164 pages since the First Edition may be seen here:

www.barefootsworld.net/aabigbookchanges.html

A report prepared by AA World Services about the preparation and revisions to the Big Book may be seen here:

www.a-1associates.com/aa/bigbookrevisions.htm

As an FYI, I found this on the Hindsfoot Foundation site:

In his farewell speech to the 1986 General Service Conference, Bob P. gave this warning to future generations of A.A. members:

"If you were to ask me what is the greatest danger facing A.A. today, I would have to answer: the growing rigidity -- the increasing demand for absolute answers to nit-picking questions; pressure for G.S.O. to 'enforce' our Traditions; screening alcoholics at closed meetings; prohibiting non-Conference-approved literature, i.e., 'banning books'; laying more and more rules on groups and members."

The spirit of real old time AA is being destroyed as more and more people are beginning to ignore one of Bill Wilson's favorite sayings: "Every group has the right to be wrong."

After two BB with much highlighting, writing scratching out of stuff etc found a Big Book study guide through a group in ELKO.  anyone can get one through The Anonmous Press,(anonpress.org) for $6 one side off the pages is a page from the Big Book the other side blank and lined for takin notes or writing down insperations from study meetings etc.  It also has the original BB manuscript, stories, dictionary for those big words I have a hard time understanding and a subject index.  For me what I found great was the footnotes at the bottom of the pages showing changes made to the BB (which are quit a few) over its several reprintings  and what it sayed in the first edition.  Also includes in footnotes some personal info about Bill W. and others, that I myself found great and very informative, as the longer I'm sober its not so much about just not drinking and i find this info interesting and enjoyable.

I really advocate getting materials books etc. from GSO but found this a great tool help me with my reading and thoughts, and its not something offered through GSO

Also if I remember from my last assembly correctly there is a proposal at GSO right now to change in the 4th edition were it says the first 164 pages are "unchange"  to "largely unchanged" because of the incorrectness of the statement. The processes being what it is I believe, if the delages passed it, we should see the change sometime after the first of year.

I believe if my memory serves me correct this was originally a misprint that was  found by a member of the fellowship from a group in Texas.  AA's democratic process that gives evryone one of us a say in what happens with the fellowship as a whole is a long one  that sometimes takes years.  I think of GSO myself in terms of the fact that they are a bunch of alcoholics just like me and I myself still make alot of mistakes.

It’s important to note that there is a story behind the Multilith copies that Carol refered to.  Here’s a link to a complete multilith version, http://www.barefootsworld.net/aasteppingstonesnyt.html Just click on the first edition

And although I have no desire to go back there; rest assured that all the details of the multilith printing are posted in their entirety on the web.

My point still stands, even back then… “the original 40” knew that this program needed to be user friendly

((ahhhh did I just say original 40 and not original 100>?????)

A Full and Thankful Heart
One exercise that I Practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings and then for a right acceptance of the many gifts that are mine - both temporal and spiritual. Here I try to achieve a state of joyful gratitude. When such a brand of gratitude is repeatedly affirmed and pondered, it can finally displace the natural tendency to congratulate myself on whatever progress I may have been enabled to make in some areas of living.

I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits.
When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.

Grapevine, March 1962 or As Bill Sees It, pg.37

What do you think? Word for word, a phrase at a time or even a whole sentence at a time would be a worthy venture to study this saying. chuckle chuckle, just a thought

God can't part with the sight of your Silverwings