Relapse seems to be a sudden, like out of the blue. I think my recovery is going ok and then suddenly I am out there.  If I look at what lead up to a relapse, I would say it was that I got self centered. 

I did my service work, but I was doing it routinely without really caring about others.  I was getting into dangerous habits other than drugs or alcohol. I was not satisfied with my life, wishing things were better.  I was manipulative.  I wasn't doing my step work.  

What are some things that lead up to relapse for you?

 Here's a few tried and true ways, I have found,   that lead to relapse:

BE dishonest to yourself-

Instead you need to always have a little bit of doubt about your motives in life. Remember: "I can't trust my own thinking, for it is my thinking that leads me to relapse".

This is because I suffer from a mental obsession that says things like: "But it wasn't really that bad" or "I am an exception to the rule" or "I am different".

Be dishonest to others-
We are only as sick as our secrets.

Hang on to old ideas-

Instead what you need to be is open-minded. Be willing to change, because if nothing changes - nothing changes. Make new friends. Staying away from places where you could relapse. Let go of certain people.

Don't do what is suggested (perhaps the fasted way to relapse)-

Instead, Just do it. Let go of trying to do it.
Stop trying to be different, or to be an exception to the rule. Be realistic and honest to yourself. Be willing to do something different than to relapse, even if you don't want to - take a risk.

Are you willing to go to any lengths to change?

Isolate yourself so you can be lonely-

Don't listen-

Again be open-minded - stop judging, blaming, requesting, complaining, and resenting.
Look for similarities - stop being a ‘rebel'.

Listen to your recovering self. Feelings are not facts - listen to the facts. Learn to pay attention - with ‘both' ears. Be willing to be interested, even if you're not right now.

Learn to listen, listen to learn.

Don't push yourself, just do as you please-

Instead what you need to  be is Responsible,  respond with need.
Surrender - is not putting your will into action.

Believe that recovery was not meant for you-

Instead you need to Trust in your survival instincts. Recovery is about survival - a natural response that already exists within you - it is you.

Recovery already exists in you - just let it happen, don't struggle with it, just do what is needed to do to survive - it won't kill you.

Worry about the past, and or, the future-

Instead you need to  Live and be present in the ‘here and now'. Stay with today's existence, and your role within it. Reflect on the saying: "Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery" - both are non- existent.

Don't trust anybody or anything ( another fast track to  relapse)-

Remember, without trust, there can be no meaningful connection to another human being.
Learn to trust others by testing, giving in step by step, take a risk. Be flexible, don't expect too much, ask yourself: "How important is it? Will it kill me?"

To stay clean and sober-

Don't set yourself up for a resentment, remember that you are a person who can knowingly choose to do the worst thing for yourself - to relapse.

Accept imperfection.

Be willing to accept a change of attitude.
Trust yourself that you will trust others.

Always Remember...Recovery will not kill you...

but Relapse will.