Welcome!
Sounds like you're definitely ready to make some changes.
There is no need to be embarrassed about going to AA -- everyone there is there for the same reason you are -- to get and stay sober. And if you're worried that people will judge you because of your actions, trust me -- many of them have done the same or worse.
You will find a lot of understanding, and hope, and you will learn to love yourself again. I hope you will start going to AA -- we are here for help and support as well!
One day at a time.
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