Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to say hi. I don't know if this is the location for a personal story, but I'll go ahead. It's my first time to an AA chatroom.

I picked up what I thought would be my final white chip on 10/22/2007. That was it. This time I knew I could whip it and I would finally start believing in God. Suddenly, miraculous things started to happen. I met some great new people and actually enjoyed going to meetings. I made it 90 days, although I didn't do 90 in 90; I only went 30 in 30, then, feeling so good from my new sobriety, decided to just attend the Sunday night session with a group that I enjoyed the most.

Then, i got a new job. My sponsor told me to be sure to attend meetings in my new town and I said I would look into it. I didn't. I just threw myself into my new job (although it was only a 1 year consulting job).

The job was going great, I was getting fantastic reviews, then I got sent on a trip to California. My boss decided to come along. Afterwork, he wanted to go to a strip joint. I never liked those places even when I was heavily drinking, but I felt I had to go along so that I didn't give him the wrong impression. I'm such a coward. I guess that's why I loved drinking so much in the first place.

When we got there, I was agonizing over whether to tell him that I didn't drink anymore (having shared Navy war stories together). Then I RATIONALIZED that I could just have a glass of wine and sip it. This was in June 2008. This seemed to work, and I used the tactic at other 'business required' functions. Then the company suddenly ended most of their contract positions in August due to economic concerns. I was shocked.

Now I'm back to the town where I thought I had taken my last chip. I'm quickly spiraling out of control again and have to get back to the meetings, but I am so embarrassed. I've been agonizing over it all day. Then I found this chat room.

Thanks for listening.

Welcome Skybluehunter,,I'm glad you found us. From reading your story,, I think you know what you have to do.

There is a basic saying around AA"Meeting makers make it". I believe that to be true. Of course you need to take action and follow the instructions that we are told to do. Making meetings "remind" us what we need to do to survive in this world. I have learned to survive and most of the time,,quite sanely and happily.

Please check out our chatroom and the online meetings we have here. We are a loving and supportive bunch.

Welcome home!!!

Well, Skybluehunter I can relate with the part about being embarrassed to going back to your old meetings;  but in turn you should do it they (I'm Sure) will meet you with open arms and help you get back into the grove...

Good-Luck

HDMerry ;)

There is nothing to be embarrassed about -- you made a mistake.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to meetings.  Then, find a sponsor and work the steps.

Meetings won't keep you sober by themselves -- you have to do the footwork.  Now that you've had the opportunity to do a little more research and found that it's no better out there than it used to be, you will have a new persepective toward working the steps.

I know you will be welcomed!

Welcome back Skybluehunter

I would like to add one more thing to what has already been said and that is, you are human, we make mistakes and some are bigger than others, but there is always a solution and sometimes mistakes are our greatest learning tool.

Online meetings are a great substitute for when we can't get to a f2f one and are great for those that are not able to get out for many reasons. I look forward to seeing you in the chatroom as it is a great place to find company and a listening ear when we are confused or just need some company.

Take good care and I wish you all the best!

You are not the first person that this has happened to, go back to your meetings

that is where you will find true understanding.